


Escalate / ˈeskəˌlāt/ to increase rapidly.

by sandpapersnowman



Series: Tumblr Prompts: Preacher [2]
Category: Preacher (TV)
Genre: Embarrassment, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, Multi, Other: See Story Notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 09:48:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7528009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sandpapersnowman/pseuds/sandpapersnowman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You can’t dance.”</p><p>Cassidy raises a hand and flinches as soon as he does, because he’s sure he’s going to regret this.</p><p>“She’s right,” he chimes in.</p><p>“Bullshit, Cass. When have you seen me dance?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Escalate / ˈeskəˌlāt/ to increase rapidly.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mobius-loop (igy)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/igy/gifts).



> i asked for fic prompts because i felt like writing something, just real quick, when i got home from the movies 6 hours ago
> 
> loren messaged me with "the OT3 trying to out-embarrass each other (I just see Tulip and Jesse telling progressively worse stories about each other)"
> 
> i am 99% sure this is absolutely not what you meant

It starts with a laugh.

That’s all it takes, really, is the right laugh at the right time, when Tulip casually mentions over dinner that Jesse once dressed as a tiny cowboy for a school talent show. Awkwardly swinging a rope around like a lasso, banjo track from offstage, the works. Cassidy looked at him, imagined it, and _cackled_.

“You were up there with me,” Jesse blurts out. “Don’t forget that part.”

Cassidy looks at Tulip now, and imagines tiny little _her_ in a silly cowgirl get-up, and practically squawks.

“ _I_ didn’t cry when we didn’t win.”

Cassidy can’t turn back to Jesse before another weird yelp laugh comes out of him, and he’s halfway to asking _”Did you really?”_ when Jesse processes what she’s said, and flushes.

“ _I didn’t cry_ ,” he snaps.

“You _did_!” Tulip snaps back, and Cassidy has to put aside laughing for a moment, because they’ve both got that look in their eyes. The one that means things are about to get very sexy or very violent.

“Alright, alright,” he butts in. “I’m sure neither of you cried--”

And is _that_ the wrong thing to say.

“Who said I cried?” Tulip asks suddenly, looking slightly offended and also directly at Cassidy.

“What? Nobody did.”

“Yeah,” Jesse cuts in, _smug_. “Nobody said you cried at the talent show, Tulip.”

Tulip’s glare jumps to Jesse again and narrows.

“ _Prom_ , though,” Jesse continues faux innocent, and Tulip looks like she might kill him.

“ _Excuse_ you? I cried at prom because you said you loved me for the first time.”

 _Aw_ , Cassidy thinks. That’s sweet, really.

Then Tulip keeps going.

“And I cried because _you_ cried about it.”

Cassidy raises his eyebrows at Jesse, and doesn’t have to ask if that’s true. The embarrassed realization on his face is telling enough. _That’s even sweeter_ , he thinks.

“Well,” he sputters, “At least I knew how to dance.”

Tulip scoffs.

“You can’t dance.”

Cassidy raises a hand and flinches as soon as he does, because he’s sure he’s going to regret this.

“She’s right,” he chimes in.

“Bullshit, Cass. When have you seen me dance?”

Cassidy laughs again.

“Literally this morning, Jess.”

“ _Bullshit_.”

“I did!” he insists, and Tulip cuts him off before he can specify.

“Was he doing the thing where he bounces around while he's cooking eggs?”

“ _Yes!_ ” Cassidy shouts, pointing at her in kinship and then turning his finger on Jesse as, _’ha!’_.

Jesse’s flushed even worse. He’s doing the thing where he’s looking down and his nose is scrunched up (but never tell him that, he’d deny it to the grave that his nose scrunches, and he’s already given Cassidy a good punch for calling it cute).

“Look, no shame in it,” Cassidy says, and puts his hands up like a surrender. “ _I_ can’t dance. It’s fine.”

He’s willing to drop it, but Tulip’s grinning so hard it could be mistaken for a snarl.

“What was he wearing? Please don’t tell me it was those really dingy boxers.”

“They’re briefs,” Jesse corrects.

“I’d call them boxer-briefs, honestly,” Cassidy mumbles.

“Oh, so you know them?”

Cassidy laughs, because yeah, he knows the pair she means. The two of them were covered in blood from fighting with those government weirdos, and Jesse took off his hot, fancy preacher garb to reveal… _Those_.

“They aren’t _that_ bad,” Jesse mutters, and Tulip and Cassidy make the same ‘oh, honey, no’ noise as soon as he says it.

“They’re bad, Jess,” Cassidy says, like he’s comforting him after a hard truth.

“And _old_ ,” Tulip adds.

“We should try carbon-dating them,” Cassidy suggests in a completely serious voice, and Tulip nods seriously too.

“I have,” she says. “We couldn’t even get an exact number for them.”

“Alright, _hey_ , they’re _comfortable_.”

Tulip shrugs. “I’m sure they _are_ comfortable for their age.”

Jesse laughs a little at that.

“They aren’t even that old.”

“Jesse, they’re the same ones you were wearing the first time I took your pants off.”

Cassidy’s been watching them go back and forth with the underwear, but now he _has_ to turn dramatically to Jesse, because there’s no _way_ they’re that old. He knows him and Tulip were a thing before they were out of high school, a la the crying at prom, but even if they didn’t do things for a while, that’s still… Too long.

“They’re the same _style_ , not the same _pair_.”

Tulip shrugs again and brings her drink to her mouth.

“Could’a fooled me,” she mutters, and Cassidy hears it and snorts but Jesse just frowns.

Cassidy’s smiling at them both, because they have so much history and he’s still only just beginning to catch up on it for himself, and Jesse tries to get her back again.

“I cut myself on her braces once.”

Instead of the scandalized reaction Cassidy gave for every one of Tulip’s reveals, he just nods, almost solemn.

“Been there, mate.”

Tulip flashes him a quick (very straight, now that he thinks about it) smile. It’s probably a little mean that they gang up on Jesse to tease him so often, but he knows it’s all in good fun.

“She lost the key to the handcuffs,” he tries instead.

“ _Oh_ ,” Cassidy groans. He nods even more solemnly and actually picks his drink up in a fake toast to him. “ _Been_ there.”

Jesse’s _so_ red. He so desperately wants to get a step up on Tulip, just _once_.

And then his frustration disappears, and the _worst_ grin breaks across his face.

Tulip is suspicious instantly.

The two of them don’t break eye contact as he leans over the table toward Cassidy, gently grabs him by his shirt, and puts his mouth close enough to Cassidy’s ear that he could probably hear him if he just thought loud enough.

Tulip doesn’t hear whatever he says, but the lingering enjoyment on Cassidy’s face, leftover from the one-upping and ridiculous conversation, sinks into something else. She’s never seen him blush before, but now he’s redder than Jesse was, and he’s _staring_ at her in a weird kind of… Awe?

Tulip returns her glare to Jesse.

“What did you tell him?”

Jesse’s still smiling, that awful, smug look he gets back on his face like it never left, and he shrugs.

“Nothin’.”

“Jesse Custer, what the _hell_ did you say?”

Cassidy is still shocked silent, though his grin is returning. It’s disbelief and… Kind of a sick joy, maybe? But she can’t think of anything Jesse could have said about her that’d make him look like _that_.

“Jesse,” she growls. It’s a warning and his last chance, and he knows it.

“ _Nothing_ ,” he says again. “I just told him we still don’t know why you squirted that one time and then we could never get you to do it again. That’s all.”

Cassidy has to bite his lip to keep from laughing, because he has no idea what to do with this information but he _has_ it, and honestly, he thinks Jesse wins. Not that it’s embarrassing, mind, just that… Well. Unless Tulip can break out the opposite of ‘I’m an ex-squirter’ for Jesse, he’s pretty sure he’s got her beat on shocking revelations for the day.

They’re both surprised when Tulip laughs.

“ _Oh_ ,” she sighs. “I thought it was something heavy.”

She stands up and pushes her chair under the table.

“Y’know,” she continues, starting to move toward the stairs to go up to bed, and kissing the top of Cassidy’s head when she passes. “Like when we tried the cock ring and had to get it cut off at the hospital.”

She kisses the top of Jesse’s head, too, the only movement in a suddenly _very_ quiet and tense room, and ruffles his hair.

“I’m jumping in the shower,” she calls, already halfway there like nothing’s happened.

She’s bending to turn the water on when she hears it.

Cassidy screaming ' _JESSE_ ', and Jesse’s desperate attempts to give context drowned out by hysterical laughter.

She’s pretty sure she wins. Tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> did you know you can find me on [tumblr](http://sandpapersnowman.tumblr.com/ao3direct)? : O
> 
> interested in more ot3 shenanigans? interested in the in-progress version of how they get together that most of my ot3 fics take place in? check out [Running Start](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7334224/chapters/16660312), right here on Ao3!


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